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People have ups and downs as people usually do, and Iapos;m slowly starting to be able to remind myself that this applies to me also. I have my days where I hardly produce anything of value to my client (compared to how much I am worth on an hourly basis), I have days when I think long and deep about relationships, and how I worry but notice I canapos;t do much about how the financial crisis is burning a hole in my pants. These events generally make me unhappy, and worse I end up wasting a lot of time wasting time thinking about these things.

Having not done a good nomikai in a while, I decided to organise one with a wide mix of people, some of whom I didnapos;t even know. I talked about the above to them, and at least someone, if not several people had very tangible answers to these concerns. You wonder why you didnapos;t think of doing this earlier.

And in other news, I finally came up with a recommendation with the help of several peopleapos;s input, that I presented to and got accepted by the client management that Iapos;m working for now. Despite the support I got from so many people and the fact that it took 4 months to arrive to this recommendation, the sense of accomplishment is something that made me proud. The good news is that it will be implemented for certain. The bad news is, I do most of the implementation...

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Today was wonderful...� I�had a good start to my day.� Still didnapos;t arrive at work on time, but, what can ya do...� It was also payday.� I am proud of how I handled myself today.� Ordinarily when people try to do things that make me feel batty, I�fall into it... But, I�see what people are about now, so I just take it with a grain of salt...� The rumors are flying about when the project will end... I mean, we know when we start that they will end, so... Why act all crazy about it?� But thatapos;s how the people I work with are.� And they try to suck others into their madness.� Iapos;m sick of it.� Really.� This is just more motivation for me to find that perfect position...� But I�also understand the nature of the economy and that jobs may be scarce.� So,�I can continue temping until...� But I�believe.� I chatted with some old friends today.� Then I went to a concert alone for the first time.� I saw Amel Larrieux.� That woman is amazing.� Her voice is so beautiful.� And she performed my favorite song by her... "Make Me Whole."�

Itapos;s funny that when I�arrived at work today, I�realized I�had forgotten my mp3 player - which is the worst with the type of work I�do.� A good guy friend of mine happened to have an extra ipod loaded with so much good music he let me borrow it.� One of the first songs I�listened to was "Solitude" by Billie Holliday.� It was kind of right for what Iapos;m feeling.� But not completely...� I like the solitude, but Iapos;m not praying he comes back.� The next song, "I Cried for You" was next...� thatapos;s the ticket lmao.

Can I say how much I�LOVE�living downtown?� This is so frickin awesome

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Well my desk top died last week. Iapos;m writing this on my laptop which I just got working the other night. And let me tell you, dead is dead, a friend tried to fix it, got a lot of the corrupted files under control it looked like we were making advances. But we hit a wall and concluded the only way to finish fixing it is with a Windows X64 CD and to run repair on it.

Well that would not work. Windows would not repair, so I had to overlay the new OS on the old OS, now Iapos;m salvaging all the files I can before I nuke the PC and start from scratch. Itapos;s going to take a while, as I have many random drivers to track down and torrent on my laptop.

Erf, I wonapos;t be comfortable on my puter for a while.. Oi. Fucking POS desktop, only lasted a year since I got it from my ex till when it crashes. -_- What ever, I shouldnapos;t have expected any better.


Besides that, Iapos;m pissed off as Sears basically stuck it to me. After dicking me around for the week they finally told me, and I quote. "We would like to offer you a job, unfortunately we donapos;t have any positions opening until November. We will call you if we need you." So if I recall my employment hints and codewords, "Weapos;ll call you" means go fuck your self. In business words.

So yeah, Iapos;m in a fucking great mood. Desktop is dead, No job yet, No money, no nothing. Fucking hell.

I hear furfright is going on, heh.

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Greetings, PMMizens.

Our second server change, planned for apos;early Septemberapos;, was completed a few days ago - obviously said month didnapos;t want to go without a fight. Alas, for the past few days thereapos;ve been some connection troubles, which we and the evidence believe originate somewhere upstream. Whether the problem is there, or with the server itself, there were already tentative future plans to move to a dedicated VPS - and the time seemed ripe, so thatapos;s what weapos;ve done.

You can find all your MUSH things left exactly where you left them at:
mush.pokemorph.com port 2222

Tell your friends

- Tatikyas, Last of the Maverick CodeWizzen

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I donapos;t work tomorrow. Not really. We are packing to move to our new building and will be there on the 3rd of�Nov for certain.

This has been a long week none-the-less.
I found out I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome-- which COULD�lead to cancer if I do nothing about it. *rolls eyes*..... Well, I wouldnapos;t have gone in if I didnapos;t want to do something about whatever Iapos;m going through But Iapos;m not in that category at present. (Praise God) They also did blood work to see if my thyroid is out or if I just need hormone therapy. LOVE�Bein a girl. *DRIP�DRIP�DRIP�SARCASM*

I got a call on Tuesday that went something like this::::
"Thursday is�Jerryapos;s funeral just to let you know so you can do some cleaning in the church.�Not extensive, just make sure the bathrooms are stocked, you know."

Thatapos;s a nice way to find out the man weapos;ve all been praying for passed away. So I cleaned some yesterday, cleaned some today and will clean the rest tomorrow. The funeral was today and�I just couldnapos;t stop crying. And itapos;s not like Iapos;ve been "particularly close" to the family but it was very sad to know that he had cancer and it was in his brain, which miraculously they got and then went to his lungs. He was 49.

But anyway,�I didnapos;t stay for the "fellowship lunch",�I had to get back to work but I went home and cried some more and ended up being late to work.�*shrugs* Oh well.

I think�I have now been to 4 funerals in my life. I thought it had only been 2 (making this 3) but I then remembered going to one in Kansas when�I was younger. At any rate... I donapos;t like them and have decided I donapos;t want one. My "funeral" will be in the form of a worship and alter call service and there will be a party afterward. I mean, if youapos;re all going to get together for my death, you might as well celebrate my departure.

*sigh*

I dunno.... I have mixed feelings at present but itapos;ll pass.�Someone will get married or have a baby and itapos;ll be another day of cleaning.�*shrugs*

I started rearranging my apartment again.�I�got one side of it the way I want it, I think.�Now to work on the other side. Itapos;ll be good.

I got to read Dylanapos;s crack story that he posts and that made me happy. Hopefully soon�I will get the second book,�The Bringer of�War (go check it out�Do it Do it NOW) *ahem*�And then I can have a calm, relaxing weekend...... Or not so relaxing.... Who knows.
But itapos;s all gravy and�Iapos;m so tired that Iapos;m actually falling asleep at the wheel here. (keyboard)

So yeah.... Stuff.

Tell that someone that you love, just what youapos;re thinkin of
If tomorrow never comes...........

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The nice thing about living in NH regarding politics is that every four years, your primary is over rather early in the presidential pageant. Thankfully, the ads filling up your mailbox end the day after the primary votes have been counted. That used to be the case until someone decided NH was a swing state. Come on, people We only have four electoral votes. Is that enough of a reason to filly my mailbox with all this crap again? We technically donapos;t even vote for president; we supposed to vote for those who vote for president.

Politics is so wacky in this country in so many ways, but Iapos;m still thankful for what the Founding Fathers gave us. Iapos;m sure they didnapos;t end up with overflowing mailboxes, though.
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��������� ldquo;Trust me, honey, he does.rdquo;�Spencer called.�

He and Harvey were propped against Buckrsquo;s truck, watching the others work.�Dorian, the great hound dog, had his head propped against Harveyrsquo;s shoulder.�He was drooling down the front of the youthrsquo;s shirt, but Harvey refused to push him away.�Itrsquo;d been a while since hersquo;d petted a doghellip;both Sarah and his mother were allergic.

Buck stood up for a second, gave the engine a quick glance-over, and turned to Harvey.�ldquo;You need to get this thing to a mechanic.�You didnrsquo;t do much to it before you started driving, did you?rdquo;

ldquo;I oiled it.rdquo;

Buck lifted his sunglasses from his deep mahogany eyes and stared Harvey down.�ldquo;Yoursquo;re killing this beauty, you know.rdquo;

Harvey shrugged.�ldquo;I do what I can.rdquo;

ldquo;Get it to a mechanic.rdquo;�Buck said again.�He ambled to the truck, brought a tool box from the bed, and went back to the Chevelle.�ldquo;Irsquo;ll do what I can to keep you on the road a few more days, but you wonrsquo;t have long.�Driving this thing is suicide.rdquo;

Decrepit looked mortified.�ldquo;Yew reckon we should head back tuh Whitfield lsquo;stead of gionrsquo; on tuh Iuka?rdquo;

ldquo;Not if he gets the thing to a mechanic.rdquo;�Buck replied, going to work under the hood.�

The old man kneeled next to Buck to watch.�Then, he began to brag about all the cars hersquo;d worked on in his day, and how one of his trucks had lost all four wheels coming down the lsquo;Pike.�

Buck looked less than enthused.

ldquo;Where do you shop?rdquo;�Spencer asked after a few minutes of watching the men working.

Harvey shrugged.�ldquo;Just your normal stores, you know?�Hot Topic has cool clothes, and I like JC Pennyrsquo;s for their jeans.�I get my shoes from Payless.�Nothing special.rdquo;

Spencer was quiet for a long time, so Harvey glanced over.

ldquo;Are you checking me out?rdquo;

Spencerrsquo;s eyes fluttered to Harveyrsquo;s.�ldquo;I just love your jeans.�Theyrsquo;re tight-fit.rdquo;

ldquo;Duderdquo;

ldquo;What?rdquo;�Spencer asked, taking the tiniest step to move closer to Harvey.�ldquo;I canrsquo;t help but like you.�Therersquo;s a certain aloof nature to you.�Like you really donrsquo;t care what people think, because you donrsquo;t even realize it.�People think good things about you, they must.�Yoursquo;re a good guy.rdquo;�He lowered his voice to a whisper.�ldquo;Yoursquo;re a better guy than Buck will ever be.rdquo;

Harvey shook his head.�ldquo;Irsquo;m straight.rdquo;

Spencer took another step closer, this time sliding his hand against the small of Harveyrsquo;s back.�ldquo;Have you ever tried being gay?rdquo;

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